Blue Balls XL 2.0 Review
By Carnal Queen
Having “Blue Balls” is probably not something I’d usually recommend, but in this instance, I’m more than willing to make an exception. The Blue Balls XL 2.0 is quite frankly a stonkingly good fucking machine. Following on from the success of the Blue Balls 1.0 machine, Diva have gone on to take this mark II version of their versatile sex machine to new heights. Now with an ultra black powder-coated finish, this no-nonsense, easy to use machine is functional, and totally fuckable.
The retail packaging for the machine is classically Diva. Glossy, very visual, and not particularly to my taste. I’m not bothered by that though, it’s all about what’s inside. Thankfully, sexmachines.co.uk ensure your parcels are always sent with complete discretion, so the outer box is plain and non-offensive. Thumbs up!
- Blue Balls XL 2.0 Fucking Machine
- Colour instructions
- Diva® deluxe Vac-U-Lock® adaptor
- Power supply unit
- 8” Shaft Rod
- SexFlesh® Male Masturbator w/tightening ring [beige]
- SexFlesh® Vac-U-Lock® 6″ phallic penis w/balls [beige]
- Diva® Silicone 6″ anal stimulator [black]
- Glossy retail presentation / protective box
- Heat treated, highly strengthened industrial steel
- Corrosion resistant
- Graphite bushing for quiet operation
- Stroke length: adjustable upto 8 inches
- Stroke speed: 0 – 300 RPM
- Rat-A-Tat mode
- Spindle wheel for easy height control (upto15 inches)
- Ultra safe low voltage power adaptor
- Power: 110V – 240V (all countries)
- Output: 24V, 50 to 60 Hz
- UK power cord & UK plug (international orders will receive a suitable plug)
- Outer frame dimensions: 21 inches x 11.5 inches
- Inner frame dimensions: 18 inches x 9 inches
- Horsepower: 1/2HP
- Torque: 40-in-lbs
- Arm mast dimensions: 15.5 inches x 2.5 inches
- Arm masts assemble & disassemble within seconds, allows easy storage
- Weight: 13.1 kg
- Tilt frame adjusts 140 degrees from horizontal, to vertical, to downward angles
- Mini knurled knobs to secure tilt frame
- Incredibly stable due to balanced engineering & weight
- Anti-slip rubberised feet pads for additional stability and floor protection
- Colour: Black
- 1 year UK & Worldwide warranty
- CE certified
- ROHS compliant
Optional Add Ons:
- Universal Dildo Holder
- Fleshlight® Holder & Fleshlight® Male Masturbator
- Vac-U-Lock® Dildos
- 8″ Extension Rod
- 16″ Extension Rod
- Suction Cup Dildo Holder
- WIZARD attachment
- Vac-U-Lock® Dildo Doubler
In my opinion, this could be the best “one machine fits most” offering from Diva. It’s incredibly versatile, and can be used in a variety of ways from the off. No, I don’t like the SexFlesh dildo, because y’know, it’s porous. The machine will happily accept any silicone Vac-U-Lock dildo onto the adaptor though, so the SexFlesh dong going to dildo heaven is no big deal. You get a slim black silicone dildo in the box too, which is great for anal play, but is equally as useable for vaginal penetration if you prefer something more on the petite side of things.
If you want to use the machine for mechanical male masturbation, you’re in luck. Included in the package is a SexFlesh attachment for you to sink your teeth (dick) into. In the sex toy market, a non-porous masturbator is rarer than a horny nun, so this soft, skin feel piece is fine to get you stroking straight out of the box. Just be sure to clean and dry it properly after use, coat it in renewal powder, and keep an eye on it for signs of wear or degradation. If you’re a fan of Fleshlight’s, the Blue Balls XL 2.0 can be fitted with an optional adaptor to allow it to accept a large proportion of their range.
Can we take a minute to appreciate the 8 inch thrust depth? 8 frikkin inches! That’s a relatively unique offering, as most other machines max-out at a 6 or 7 inch thrust. So if you crave spine-tingling, long and deep penetration, you’re going to be a very happy bunny with this little baby. If fast and shallow is your thing, the rat-a-tat feature will put a smile on your face, and with speeds up to 300 thrusts per minute you’ll stay smiling!
On a level surface, the balanced box-like shape of this machine lets it run smoothly and with stability. The 13kg weight means it’s not going to fly off in the breeze of a gnat’s fart, but it’s light enough to be moved and stored with ease. I love this shape of machine for storage, it slides into the bottom of a wardrobe nicely.
Enjoy your penetration lying down, standing up, on all fours … pretty much any which way you choose. The easy-to-tilt frame swings most ways. 140 degrees of up, down, or horizontal fuckery to keep you busy and entertained for hours. The Blue Balls XL 2.0 is certainly a master of its art, and is as changeable as my mood!
I’d struggle to find fault with this machine to be honest. Obviously the porous dildo is a negative, but you do get at least one piece of silicone, and other lovely dildo delicacies are easily sourced. The over the top retail box isn’t my bag, but that goes in the bin, so who cares about that really? Erm … so yeah … I think that’s the downsides covered. It ticks a lot of boxes for me, and I think it will for many people. Blue Balls version 1.0 was undoubtedly a hit, I think version 2.0 is going to be that again, with knobs on!
The folk over at sexmachines.co.uk sent me the Blue Balls XL 2.0 in exchange for my honest and unbiased. review. This doesn’t alter my thoughts or opinions in any way – I tell it like it is.