Celebrity Dildo Buckhem Review
By Carnal Queen.
When I first heard of Celebrity Dildo, I honestly wasn’t sure if it was a huge piss take. Come on, silicone sculptures made to resemble famous folk, with amusing, yet identifiable names, but with a twist – they’re fuckable! It was a long time before April 1st, so I knew it wasn’t a fools day joke, but surely they weren’t serious, were they?
Well, serious they were, and a growing brand they are. Whilst the number of ‘celebrities’ available is still fairly limited (The Kock, Buckhem & Leboned), they’re already making plans to expand the range, and followers to their Twitter account will have seen some suggestions for new additions already.
The thing I couldn’t quite get my head around is the fact that they’re made of silicone. Obviously, it’s a mahoosive plus point, but novelty items like this are often made of cheap, porous shite, and yet here we have one that’s produced in a totally body-safe material – Hmm, maybe this novelty is less of a novelty than I first thought.
When I was asked to review the Buckhem, I was intrigued to see what sort of experience I was going to be getting. I was also curious about the quality of the dildo, and about the overall finish, and I’ll also admit to being a bit weirded out. I’m no stranger to shoving things inside me in the name of product testing, but I’ve never stuffed anything up there that bears a resemblance to a person. And whilst I’ll freely admit that David Beckham, like a fine wine, has certainly improved with age, he’s never really been my bag, and football certainly isn’t my game. The things I do for my readers … ?
Celebrity Dildo is an Australian company, and my Buckhem made his way around the globe to me, in just a few days. I doubt he flew first class though, as his more human, less cock-like inspiration undoubtedly does. I’m sure a few of you will have an opinion on the cock-like comment too … Moving swiftly on.
I was sent the dildo and a branded storage bag, but sadly no retail packaging. I’d of liked to have seen it in person, but a quick look online shows me it’s tasteful and that it looks pretty nice. The bag made me happy, it’s a little thing, but having a unique bag makes things easier to find when you’re digging through the dildo bank like a crazy person, looking for something specific.
Buckhem is just under 8 inches tall, with almost 6 inches of insertable length. He has a suction cup base, and a girth at the widest point of around 5.5 inches. He’s very firm, with only a little amount of flex in the shaft. The silicone work is highly detailed, but it’s very smooth and silky. Celebrity Dildo say he should be totally odourless, but I have to say, mine definitely has an odour. It’s not overpowering at all, but it won’t go, no matter how hard I scrub, or dishwasher the poor fella. This made me question the material he was made from, and led me to do a flame test. After consulting this guide from the dildo-pyro goddess that is Dangerous Lilly, I do believe it’s silicone. It took a little while to ignite on the base, left black soot that was easily rubbed off, produced pale grey ash, and has damaged the base fractionally, leaving a slightly sticky patch. So assuming the silicone is indeed silicone, I’ve no idea why he’s has a gentle plastic-like whiff about him. Strange!
The detail on Buckhem is a sight to behold. He’s got his football shorts, including noticeable groin bulge. A pair of big, firm (ahem, golden) balls. There’s a representation of his Chinese side tattoo, which means ‘Death and life have determined appointments. Riches and honour depend upon heaven’. And there’s also his huge guardian angel back tattoo, which reaches around to the front of the dildo. His facial features are surprisingly lifelike, although his hair style is kind of crazy, and he’s wearing some sort of headband. His head is probably the most unrealistic part of it, although I’m guessing it took this form so it could loosely mimic the head of a cock! His chin line forms the coronal ridge, and the back of his head culminates to a peak where the frenulum would be, if he were a real cock. No comment.
So, the million dollar question is, is he a serious sex toy?
Surprisingly, yes he is. He’s absolutely not going to be for everyone, as the texture from the detailing is pretty intense. He’s also pretty girthy, so added to the detailing, this makes for a sex toy suited to texture/size queens and intermediate players. So beginners beware! I actually prefer to use Buckhem upside down for the majority of a session, because those huge balls make a great place to hold to get a good firm grip. I need more lube with this toy than many others, so a good place to grab is great. I also find his nose a little pokey most of the time. As I near orgasm, it’s nice to twist him around and allow his nose to work on my G-Spot, but if I try to do this from the start, I find it a little annoying and it eventually would get sore.
So far, he’s stood up to repeated use, and cleaning, with no detrimental effects. I do wonder just how long this will be the case though, as a lot of the detail is fine, and has left small features which will naturally be more vulnerable. His nose for example, when pressed, it creases along the bridge, and my concern is that one day, it will split. Talking of splits, there’s a very tiny one where the body of the dildo meets the suction cup, of about 5mm. The suction cup functions well, and it happily stays attached to the side of the bath for a session, but under pressure, this split, which looks like it may have been born from the de-moulding process, may tear further.
At the end of the day, if you’re a die-hard David Beckham fan, you’re going to want to own one of these dildos, because you can totally #ScrewYourDreams. As it was pointed out to me, it’s the only way to get DB into your bed without having to put up with the annoying voice! I wonder if Victoria has placed her order yet …
Pros
You can screw your dreams!
Unique experience
Great for texture queens
Anal safe
Cons
Texture may be too much for some
Fine detailing leaves elements vulnerable
The Buckhem was sent to me for free, for an honest and unbiased review. This in no way alters my thoughts or opinions. Although not widely distributed to retailers as of yet, you can pick up your own Buckhem directly from Celebrity Dildo here. Huge thanks to Celebrity Dildo for sending it out to me, it was certainly a unique experience! No affiliate links have been used in this post.