By Carnal Queen.
If you’d told me two years ago when I started Carnal Queen that I’d be reviewing a blanket on my site, I’d have straight up laughed in your face. This is a sex blog, why would I be writing about a blanket FFS? Yeah, I’m an idiot. It didn’t take me long on my sexy travels to stumble across the Liberator Fascinator Throe, and I instantly knew I wanted one. No, I needed one. You see, this isn’t just any old blanket … this is a waterproof sex blanket!
I think at some time or other, we’ve all been there. Lying there tired and spent, in a breathless, sweaty mess, too knackered to roll yourself away from the soaking wet patch on the bed. I’ll confess, I’ve often tried to negotiate relations, so that the ginormous wet patch ended up landing on CK’s side of the bed (I know, I’m evil), but it’s never really worked out for me. I either wind up getting it all, or at least half of it, as it resides unashamedly in the centre of the bed. In the throes of passion, I don’t care what I’m lying in, but when I’m settling down, trying to escape to the land of nod, wet and sticky bed sheets are the pits!
Enter the Liberator Throe, a waterproof blanket to change your sex life forever. Yep, I did make that outrageously bold claim. This fuck blanket will change the way you have sex, and you won’t ever look back!
For a while now, we’ve had a waterproof protector over that mattress. We had a new bed last year, and they’re too expensive to be repeatedly soaking them with copious amounts of bodily fluids. Our sex can be very wet – like going for a swim kinda wet – I don’t want that soaking into my bed. Just the thought of it makes me shudder – icky, nasty bacteria left to slow bake and multiply. No thanks! Waterproof sheets might be the answer, but I don’t have any, so they’re not.
So I’ve protected my mattress, but what about my bed linen? You can call me a sheet-snob if you like, but my bed is covered in a lot of cash. Not literally – although that might well be a fucking fantasy that I have to act out on in the future – but my bedding is all 100% cotton with high thread counts, and my duvet and pillows are all goose feather and down. I like to feel comfortable in my relaxing space, we spend a lot of time in bed in our lifetime, so I’m not going to apologise for buying nice things. But yeah, bodily fluids and expensive bedding isn’t a good match in my book! And this is where the Liberator Throe makes me a very happy CQ, because it keeps everything clean and dry, whilst giving us a super soft, sumptuous sex space. Win.
I’ll grant you, the Liberator Throe isn’t a spontaneous purchase for most people. It’s definitely on the upper end of the scale of cost when it comes to blankets, but when I think of the cost of the things it’s protecting, it’s worth every single cent and more. I’m a huge Liberator fan anyway, so I knew that I’d be happy with the Throe before I even used it. Liberator does quality. They do products that do what they say on the tin. If I had a pound for every time someone asked me “Are those Wedge’s worth it? Aren’t they just expensive cushions?” I’d be off buying more Liberator goodies with my newfound wealth. The Wedge changed our sex lives for the good, so I had high hopes for the Fascinator Throe too.
I’ll be honest; initially it wasn’t what I was expecting when I started to unbox it. It was thicker, and reminded me more of those waterproof picnic blankets. Whilst it isn’t as thick as a picnic blanket, it certainly wasn’t as ‘drapey’ as I’d hoped it would be. Turns out, this slight disappointment I first felt about the Throe is actually one of its fantastic plus points. I just think I’d wanted it for so long, that I’d formed my own thoughts and opinions before I got one in-hand. It didn’t quite match my expectations, and at first that threw me a bit. Ours is a gorgeous Aubergine colour, but Liberator do make a variety of colours for you to choose from.
Being thicker though, it has a lovely weight to it. I don’t want to wrap myself up in it, I want to be able to fuck like an animal on it, so that extra weight and structure it has means it holds much more firmly on the bed. Thinner and softer would mean that it would hitch up and move about with every leg twist or position change. Couldn’t be putting up with that! The Throe stays where you put it mostly, it’s fabulous! One side is a soft microfiber material, the other is a luxurious satin feel, so you can choose which side to lie, on depending on your mood.
At 72inches long and 54 inches wide, the Throe is plenty big enough to get really down and dirty on. Massage lotions, lube, sex fluids, or any other fluids for that matter are no longer a problem, because the Liberator Throe will soak them all up and protect the surface underneath. Sex on the sofa or that expensive Persian rug is now appealing and exciting, now that you don’t have to worry about leaving telltale marks behind you. The Liberator Throe is … liberating!
I find this waterproof sex blanket to be a really welcoming place to make love on. It’s soft against the skin and feels lovely as you move against it. We’ve been having some hot weather here in the UK recently, and I’ve been glad that we have an air-conditioned bedroom when using the microfiber side, because it does get warm on it, but the satin side has a naturally cooler surface to it, which feels lovely. Absolutely nothing gets through it either, I could empty a vase of water on it and know my bed would remain dry underneath it. So, squirters of the world can relax and let it all flow! The number of times I’ve had to try and catch hold of myself and stop a flood, because I didn’t want to soak the bed – No more, my fuck blanket has my back these days 🙂
Care is super easy. I just bung it in the washing machine on a cool wash and tumble dry it on low. I’ve even had it on the washing line to dry it, but I gave up on that when I figured the neighbours would think I was mental for using such a plush blanket in the middle of a heat wave! I wash it on its own, so it has plenty of room to tumble and move in the drum, but I also then don’t have to worry about washing with similar colours, as the label suggests.
I do wish it came with some kind of storage bag, made from the material my Liberator Wedge came in. I always want it close to the bed, but never want to leave it on, because CK and I aren’t the only ones in our house that love it – the cats and dog do too, little sods, so a bag would be awesome. It would also be a great place to shove it after play, when it’s soaked through. I just want to collapse in bed when we’re done, not be dragging sex blankets downstairs to put in the washing machine! No bother though, I’m going to run one up on my sewing machine with some waterproof fabric. Or you could use one of those drawstring swimming gear bags.
I’ll definitely be buying another Liberator Throe in the future, so I have one to wash and one to fuck on at all times. Who knew that sex with a blanket could be so much fun?
Liberator very kindly sent me their AWESOME Liberator Throe for free, in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This in no way alters my thoughts or opinions. If you’d like to snag your own amazing sex blanket, you can get one from Liberator’s new European website here. Using the code CARNAL10 will get you an extra 10% off! If you’re in the US, you can grab a Throe by clicking here. No affiliate links have been used in this post.