Mystim Sizzling Simon Review
By Carnal Queen.
Let me get the important stuff out the way right at the beginning – Mystim Sizzling Simon is bloody amazing, and if you like electro-stimulation and vibrators, you’re probably gonna want to buy one very soon!
One thing that’s really stood out to me as I’ve travelled along my electro-stimulation journey, is that not all e-stimulators are the same. You could be forgiven for thinking that zapping your skin and your genitals would feel the same, no matter what device you’re using, but if you did think this, you’d be very very wrong. We’ve been lucky to try a few of the available options, Kinklab Neon Wand, Jimmyjane Hello Touch X, various products from Electra-Stim, but nothing has felt quite like the Mystim Sizzling Simon to me.
Most of our other electro-sex devices are meant to stimulate the skin externally. The Electra-Stim Rocker butt plug isn’t obviously, but that’s for my butt. The only vaginal stimulator I had before the Sizzling Simon was the Noir Lula balls, so naturally, I was kinda expecting them to be comparable to a degree, and they’re really not.
I’ve wanted to experience what Mystim has to offer for quite a while, so I was delighted when I finally got my sticky mitts on a Sizzling Simon. I chose Simon because of those delicious undulations along the shaft, they looked amazing, and now I can confirm, they really are! I love that you need no control units or wires to play with Simon, you just need the vibe, some water based lube, and a bit of alone time, or a partner to play with. Everything is built into the vibrator, so you can enjoy the two vibrating motors and the vaginal wall thumping electro-fun, either separately or together.
You may be surprised to discover that the Sizzling Simon is actually fully waterproof! Don’t worry though, for once it’s actually totally safe for you to electrocute yourself in the shower! It also means clean up is an absolute breeze – a wash with soapy water or toy cleaning spray, and you’re good to go again. I prefer to use this whilst lying flat on the bed if I’m honest, because I really want to revel in the sensations! On the vibration side of things, Simon has 8 different vibrations programs with 5 levels of intensity. For the E-Stim, there’s 5 stimulation programmes, with 10 levels of intensity. There’s even an additional pelvic floor training programme, because yes, you can use this toy to help strengthen those muscles. It’s like Slendertone for your vagina! A toy which you can have fun using, that will ultimately help you to achieve tighter muscles and better orgasms – what’s not to love? I won’t bore you with control details, but just know, they’re easy to navigate and use.
The packaging for the Mystim Sizzling Simon is fantastic. I really love the hard-shell case that it comes in, meaning you have the perfect, discreet safe place to keep your new vibrator. There’s plenty of room for the charging cable and instruction manual, and you could even fit a clit vibe and maybe some lube in there too. Great for traveling with – everything you need, close to hand and in one place 🙂
Simon is made from platinum silicone and ABS plastic, and is totally body-safe. The motors for the vibration are incredibly quiet, and the E-Stim produces no sound at all. So if you want lots of noise, it’s up to you to make it yourself! The built in Lithium-Ion battery is pretty impressive, and will allow you to run Simon on full power, both vibration and E-Stim, for over three hours – it’s not going to go flat on you when you least want it to, hooray! It charges via a magnetically connected USB cable, which connects well and does the job it’s meant to do. It’s got about 5.5 inches of insertable length, and around 5 inches in circumference at the largest point, but those ridges certainly make it feel more filling than that to me.
I have to make sure I’m warmed up and ready to go before I attempt to insert Simon, but when I am, with a good dose of water-based lube, I’m able to accept it very easily. The vibrations for me, are quite impressive, they’re more on the rumbly side than buzzy, and they penetrate quite deeply, instead of being surface level vibrations. If I’m honest, if this was a stand alone vibrator, I’d probably want a little more depth and maybe one more level of oomph, but when put with the E-Stim, I’d say the vibrations are pretty perfect. I think if they were stronger or more intense, it would take something away from the overall experience. It’s an awesome balance.
Now for the hard part – trying to explain to you what the E-Stimulation actually feels like! Can I just say ‘FUCKING AMAZING’ and be done with it? No? Ok, I’ll try and do my best, but it’s so difficult!
You know I’ve just said about rumbly vibrations being more penetrating, and buzzy vibes staying more on the surface? Well, I can kind of use that analogy to describe the E-Stim too. I LOVE my Electra-Stim products, they’re divine and feel amazing, but to try and compare the two different sensations, for now I’m going to say that they’re more of a tingly pleasure, which is felt in the tissue close to where the stimulation happens. The Mystim Sizzling Simon is a more intense feeling, which penetrates you more deeply. Perhaps this is helped in part, by the conductive panels which run down both sides of the Simon – They actually continue passed my labia, meaning the delicious electric ripples are felt all around my vulva, internally and externally. Imagine a vagina full of Doozers, working away inside you, thumping your internal walls with hammers … ElectraStim products have normal hammers, Mystic Simon uses huge fucking mallets! Odd thing to say, I know, but there’s a definite thump and thud to the stimulation, and it makes my whole vulva pulse and throb, like a heart that’s beating for the love of it’s life …
I could lie there, delighting in muscle contracting bliss for hours. Ordinary vibrators would have me bored after a while, but the different patterns and intensities of the E-Stim feel amazing. The orgasms are dreamy and totally satisfying and I love how it makes my whole body feel. I just have to remember to turn the intensity of the E-Stim down, if I want to turn the vibrations off during play, else it can feel like someone has booted you in the vulva! This toy is in another league. I need to meet Tickling Truman next! Do you want chills, that are multiplying? Do you want to lose control? Do you want to feel power that’s electrifying? Mystim Sizzling Simon is the One That You Want 😉