By Carnal Queen.
STOP THE PRESS!!! I think my vulva is broken! No seriously, I don’t think it can be working right, because try as I might, I’m really struggling to get any kind of positive outcome from using the Rock-Chick 🙁
I won this in a Twitter competition, (thanks Rocks Off!) and I was genuinely quite excited to try it because it had always caught my attention previously and I could really see its potential. I love the imagery that Rocks Off as a brand uses, it’s quirky and away from the normal pink fluffy crap you get with a lot of manufacturers, I was excited!
I didn’t get around to trying it out straight away because of other things going on, but when I’d got some free time, I eagerly set about giving it a whirl. Straight off the bat, something annoyed me about this toy – it runs on a bullet powered by an N battery. Now I know that some toys can pull this off, hell my favourite bullet for a long time (before my beloved Tango entered my life and made it all sparkly and exciting) ran on these little batteries, but seriously, I have a major dislike for them. Mainly because they’re a bitch to buy when you really need to find them, and also because c’mon peeps, it’s 2015! We want rechargeable shizzle now, not shit that’s gonna die on me at the worst possible moment, when I can do fuck all about it because shops local to me don’t stock these pathetic excuse for batteries! *Rant over*
It’s purple, it looks a great shape, and it’s mega soft silicone, and I mean mega soft! I wasn’t expecting it to be this squidgy and flexible at all. It’s fully waterproof, and the RO-80mm 7 speed bullet vibrator is removable, enabling you to use it alone for clitoral stimulation or to power the Rock-Chick with something else (Hello Tango!) It’s insertable up to about 4.5 inches, and has a girth of just over 3 inches at the largest point, which is the G-Spot stimulator at the end. On the underside of the external part, there’s a deeply textured surface, presumably for clitoral stimulation.
I feel like I should like this toy, it has the makings of something great, but I just don’t get it! I’ve tried and tried, and although some positions and ways of using it produce better results, I’m yet to experience the big O with it. Rocking backwards and forwards whilst sitting upright does feel good, and I had moments when I thought I’d cracked it, but no, I just rocked my way to frustration. Lying on it feels ok too, and that’s the position where I found the clit stimulator got the closest to stimulating my clit, but the arm is just too long for my anatomy and ends up hitting my pubic mound far more often than my pleasure spot! The vibrations really don’t carry through the silicone well at all either, the bullet it came with isn’t anywhere near powerful enough when it’s in the Rock-Chick (it’s average when used as a clit vibe by itself) and even my Tango struggles to make itself felt properly through the buttery silicone – and anything that hinders my Tango and its magic vibrations pisses me off!
It’s too soft, it needs more rigidity if it’s ever going to get me off. I want to thrust with it, to give my G-Spot the attention it’s screaming for, but it’s too bloody bendy to be able to thrust consistently with, then there’s the fact that the uber soft silicone is incapable of applying any pressure, and I need pressure! I also need a darkened room to go and sit quietly in to get over my failure and my resentment for this toy, because it’s a big, squishy purple tease!
I’m broken, I need fixing …
Big thanks to the lovely peeps over at Rocks-Off for sending me this toy!